Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Seeking Solace in the Small Things

Hello hello!
I haven't updated this blog in awhile and, to be honest, it's because I got tired of repeating the "sob" story of my life. Wallowing in your self pity gets old after awhile. 

I am happy to report that I am doing better. I still feel utterly lost but I've come to terms with that and I'm trying to make the most of my directionless life. I've spent too many hours alone in my bedroom thinking about ways that my life can be better. Regardless of everything I've been going through I still have a great life with a wonderful family and phenomenal friends who accept me through it all. I need to remember that each time I feel like my life is horrible. I still have a job (even though I hate it), I still have a roof over my head and I'm not hurting for money. A lot of people don't have that luxury especially right now with the wretched economy. I'm lucky and shouldn't take that for granted. *jumps off soapbox*

Life has been a bit boring recently. I haven't had a lot going on and I'm beginning to think that that is ok. I spent my weekend with my family in Lindsborg and brought a few Hays friends with me. We all had a great time. I don't think I've laughed that much in a really long time. I needed that mini vacation so that I can tackle the next 3 weeks. I have to work everyone else's hours because 3 of the 5 people I work with are going on vacation. It all doesn't seem fair but I will get my vacation soon. In less than 2 months I will be on a plane to New York City for some rest and relaxation with some of my favorite people. I've been writing down all of the things that I want to do when I return to the city and each time I read it I get more excited...and impatient. I need to take things one day at a time though because there are lots of things that I have to do before I head out of state.

Even though I have taken a break from vocal lessons, my professor is having me sing in a recital at the beginning of April. The composer of our opera will be showcasing some of his songs and he will also be playing the piano for me. I'm excited to start singing again because my time away has really made me realize that I was meant to be a singer for the rest of my life. The day after the recital I will be portraying Barbra Streisand in a dinner theater with the Heartland community theater. I'm going to be singing "Don't Rain on my Parade" and "People". I'm not a huge Babs fan but it will be nice to be onstage again. I'm a little stressed because these two very different performances are basically back to back and I hope they don't conflict with each other. I have to iron out all of the details this week.

My goal this week is to be as productive as possible. Granted, I will be working a lot but I also want to start packing up my things and getting everything together so that moving won't be stressful. I realize it's a little early to be packing because I'm not moving for another month and a half but I don't want to procrastinate either. We'll see if I am actually as productive as I would like to be.

well, with that said I'm going to continue filling my last 4 hours at retail therapy. Happy Tuesday!

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