Merry Christmas everyone!
I have returned from my travels to the thriving metropolis of Lindsborg and I am now back in Hays to take on the world of retail for 12 hrs tomorrow. I have to admit that I am a little bummed this evening. I wish I could have stayed with my family for just a bit longer. All of my friends are with their respective families and I am here...alone in my apartment.
Before my glorious 5 day vacation I spent every waking hour at the store. We were super busy, which is wonderful, but I my last 2 shifts were both 12 hrs long and I have to turn around and do the same thing tomorrow. It's good money I guess but it all adds a little to my current mood.
I had fun with friends and family in the borg. Everyone made my Christmas break a good one but there is still something missing. The holidays make me a little lonely sometimes. I realize that I am better off without a siginificant other right now but it would be nice to have someone to come home to. I've never really had that before and it gets to me sometimes. You all can tell me that my time will come and I realize that but my life is a big ball of uncertainty right now. Everything is up in the air and that makes me a little scared. I want a plan of some sort or even a little nudge in the right direction. My biggest fear is that I will be ringing in the new year by myself with only a bottle of champagne and chocolate to keep me company. I'm sure that won't be the case but I am just a little worried. I'm also a little upset because my east coast friends are only in Hays for a few more days and I haven't gotten to spend much time with them. They are the people who keep me sane most of the time and I have a feeling that my sanity will leave with them. *sigh* I guess there is no use wallowing in my self pity.
There isn't much more to say. I am going to try and enjoy the last of my break and pray that I get some answers soon. This quarter life crisis is not treating me very well
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Life or Lack Thereof
Once again I am attempting to kill some time at work. It seems like my hours spent in this store drag on and fulfilling an 8 hr shift is liking pulling teeth. I fear that I am a little bitter on this random Thursday and that is due to the fact that my life is boring and I feel like don't have a purpose to get out of bed in the morning. I won't ramble on about my lack of direction but I will say that I officially have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I made it through black Friday...barely. I managed to get sick just in time for Thanksgiving. 6 am came very early and between the cold winter chill and my fever I was not a happy camper that morning. Luckily, I looked awful enough that I got to go home early. I spent 4 hrs at the store and then enjoyed the rest of the freezing winter day from underneath my covers at home in bed. Words can't describe how pleasant that was. I've managed to recover from my holiday sickness but I'm sure it will return just in time for Christmas. *sigh*
Since my last blog I have once again lost the dating battle. I'm not sure what happened between me and the "awesome" guy but after our date he stopped talking to me. I guess he was turned off by my natural charm. I fear that I will once again be buying myself a bag of chocolates for Valentines day. A relationship probably would've kept me in Hays so I guess I should be glad that nothing developed. However, I am just about to give up on the idea of dating. It's too much work and I'm not sure if my heart can take anymore rejection. I apologize for sounding like a damsel in distress. Sometimes my dramatic side gets the best of me.
Recently I've been discussing my current unhappiness with anyone who will lend an ear and I've even gotten tired of explaining myself. My dreams of moving to the east coast seem to be a bit further away recently. My savings has kind of gone down the tubes and I also can't decide if I want to move that far away from my family. I really don't what I want to do. I've toyed around with the idea of moving to Colorado but that's just me trying to create some sort of plan. I would really like some guidance right now. I don't like feeling lost.
I made it through black Friday...barely. I managed to get sick just in time for Thanksgiving. 6 am came very early and between the cold winter chill and my fever I was not a happy camper that morning. Luckily, I looked awful enough that I got to go home early. I spent 4 hrs at the store and then enjoyed the rest of the freezing winter day from underneath my covers at home in bed. Words can't describe how pleasant that was. I've managed to recover from my holiday sickness but I'm sure it will return just in time for Christmas. *sigh*
Since my last blog I have once again lost the dating battle. I'm not sure what happened between me and the "awesome" guy but after our date he stopped talking to me. I guess he was turned off by my natural charm. I fear that I will once again be buying myself a bag of chocolates for Valentines day. A relationship probably would've kept me in Hays so I guess I should be glad that nothing developed. However, I am just about to give up on the idea of dating. It's too much work and I'm not sure if my heart can take anymore rejection. I apologize for sounding like a damsel in distress. Sometimes my dramatic side gets the best of me.
Recently I've been discussing my current unhappiness with anyone who will lend an ear and I've even gotten tired of explaining myself. My dreams of moving to the east coast seem to be a bit further away recently. My savings has kind of gone down the tubes and I also can't decide if I want to move that far away from my family. I really don't what I want to do. I've toyed around with the idea of moving to Colorado but that's just me trying to create some sort of plan. I would really like some guidance right now. I don't like feeling lost.
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