"Jane! Get me off this Crazy Thing..."

I can't believe that it's already nearing the end of November. I never believed my mother when she told me that time starts to fly by once you reach your mid twenties but now I realize just how truthful her words were. It seriously seems like my birthday was a couple of weeks ago. Where did time go?

Due to the fact that time has started to breeze by at ludacris speed I have recently become stressed out and overwhelmed. In less than a month I have to have five songs memorized for my vocal juries and do I have to work on them? No! I'm stuck at this store all day and, to be totally honest, that has been the main cause of my stress. I realize that I shouldn't write bad things about my job over the internet but it has come to the point where work as consumed me and something needs to change. My boss's financial instability has been rearing its ugly head recently. She is never around the store so I have to deal with creditors calling and blaming me for bounced checks or past due bills. When I tell them that it is out of my hands, they don't believe me. I have always been the type of person to interalize things so each firey phone call is like a tiny knife jabbed into my ego. I could go on about all of the things that my boss and I don't agree on but I will spare you all. I will say that I have started a job hunt in Hays and I am determined to find one soon. My stress is mounting and I've developed an unhealthy wine and chocolate habit. I guess you could say that it's my soul food...or maybe I'm just a lush with a sweet tooth. I have yet to decide.

In other news, I may have met someone. I say this with the utmost caution because each time I "meet" someone everything ends in disaster. I get too attached, they just want to be friends and my heart is broken. It's a vicious cycle that I have grown accustomed to since middle school. I've gotten to the point where I have stopped hoping for anything. With that said, this someone that I met is a really nice guy who shares many similar interests with me. He's only a few months older than I am and he seems to be a very driven and overall cool person. I met him last weekend and we hit it off well. I'm sure I will let you all know if anything develops but don't get your hopes up just yet. Aphroditie and I have been at war for some time now and I dont' know if that will end anytime soon. I hope that it does though because I'm a little tired of buying chocolates for myself on Valentines day. *sigh*

I have come to the point in my quarter life crisis where I've realized that my future is very uncertain. I haven't been able to save money like I've been wanting and the online job search has proved to be fruitless. This uncertainty scares me quite a bit and I hope for a change. For some reason I'm not nearly as optimistic as I once was and the constant worrying has started to wear on me. I spent last Sunday and Monday in bed and I could go for another Rip Van Winkle sleep session. Someday I'll learn to ride the wave where it takes me. Until then I will try to live one day at a time.

Well dear family and friends, I am going to end this post and hopefully make it through the remaining 4 hours of my shift. Have a blessed Thanksgiving and think of me as I'm working at 6 am on black friday :( I hate retail!

Politics, the Economy and What Not

Life has evened out a little since my last blog. I realize that it's only been a week or so but I am feeling better. Gina's funeral was very nice and I'm glad I was there to experience it.

I thought about writing a politically themed blog but chose not to. I don't really follow politics because I have seen the heated debates that my family members get into whenever certain topics are discussed. However, I will say this: I am happy that a historic event such as this has taken place in my lifetime. I am glad that the nation is willing to change and I hope for the best when Obama takes office. I realize everyone has a different opinion about this topic and I respect that. I am merely stating my feelings. I've never been one to debate. In fact, i started crying during a highschool debate about R rated movies so please don't bother arguing with me. Things are changing and only time will tell what happens.

My main concern as of late is the struggling economy. I say this now because the store has been open for almost 2 hrs and I have yet to sell anything. These slow days at work really make me fear for my job and next paycheck. I guess I should start looking for a safety net soon but I don't have the energy to do so. A part of me wishes I could jump on a plane and head out now. Don't worry, I won't.

I did have an interesting talk with my vocal teacher as he was bleeding red ink all over my resume. He asked what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and I gave him the usual "Dr. P, I really have no clue". He's used to my weekly dramatic rants so I'm sure this came as no surprise to him. I told him about my east coast thoughts and he just said "Well, what are you waiting for?". I was speechless. What am I waiting for? I still intend to spend the summer with my family but after that there are no excuses. He told me to "just go" and see where my life leads me. I like to make plans but there comes a point where plans don't work anymore. It will be scary but no matter where my life is in August I am moving. If I want to pursue my dreams I have to. There is no other option for me.

I don't have much more to say. Life feels a little uncertain at this point but I assume that all will even out in due time. For now I will say goodbye and hope that the election results have not left you all in a tizzy. Peace and Love!